A few years ago, a series of relationship studies by Drs. Kevin Kniffin and David Sloan Wilson, explored how and why certain personality traits affect our perceptions of physical attractiveness.
They discovered that among people who knew each other well, attraction is greatly influenced by kindness, effort, and likability, as opposed to physical attributes.
In fact, unkind people were considered distinctly unattractive and undesirable. Not the way you want your spouse to view you!
Kindness Amplifies Connection.
Kindness conveys caring. It isn’t passive or lazy. Taking the time to show you care means allowing your conversation and behavior to cultivate a tender, thoughtful, empathetic environment.
Your willingness to put your partner’s needs first communicates the kind of support most of us long for in a relationship and solidifies your bond.
Kindness Reduces Neediness And Resentment
The voluntary nature of kindness in a marriage or long term love relationship helps reduce insecurity and the neediness that comes with trying to seek reassurance.
Well-known relationship expert, Dr. John Gottman is said to predict with nearly 94 percent certainty which couples in his studies will survive and thrive. He maintains that it is all about the spirit partners bring to the table.
He suggests that secure, vibrant relationships are created when each partner is secure that the other is seeking out ways to be kind, respectful, and appreciative. Kindness is then purposeful and reliable. And resentment at being ignored, neglected, or overlooked is not an issue.
Kindness Creates Positivism
Your relationship can be a sanctuary of encouragement and boosted esteem. Research on positivity and gratitude reveals that the effects of a negative interaction can be effectively reversed by intentional kindness by one relationship partner.
In essence, when your spouse recognizes your kind acts toward them, a sense of appreciation and gratitude takes hold. That grateful attitude, in turn, boosts a sense of positivity between you.
As the positive cycle continues, so does the store of goodwill in your relationship. Soon, you see a regeneration of loving interaction and intimacy.
Kindness Fosters Acceptance And Belonging.
It feels good to be sought out and drawn in. To know that someone appreciates you is gratifying. To offer this to your partner daily is a beautiful gift.
It can soothe and smooth out rough places in your relationship. It can pave the way for contentment in ways criticism cannot.
Dr. Stan Hyman is a licensed psychotherapist and life coach in private practice in Miami, Florida. He works with couples struggling with powerful issues such as infidelity, careers and intimacy. He also specializes in treating addictions, anger, anxiety, stress, depression and work life balance.
If you’ve done your “downward dog” yoga pose today, you’re probably feeling more relaxed. Regardless of your level of yoga expertise, if you’re practicing regularly, you can feel better from head to toe.
Yoga offers physical and mental health benefits for people of all ages. And, if you’re going through an illness, recovering from surgery or living with a chronic condition, yoga can become an integral part of your treatment and potentially hasten healing.
A yoga therapist can work with patients and put together individualized plans that work together with their medical and surgical UkraynalД± gelin nasД±l alД±nД±r therapies. That way, yoga can support the healing process and help the person experience symptoms with more centeredness and less distress.
Try it: Tree Pose Balance on one foot, while holding the other foot to your calf or above the knee (but never on the knee) at a right angle. Try to focus on one spot in front of you, while you balance for one minute.
